taking a risk

And applying for a job that I would love, but would alter my entire life plan.

I’ve decided that if it works out and I get it, then it’s a sign that’s the path my life needs to go down, and if I don’t, then I can turn around and continue in the path I designed for myself years ago.

Why

Can’t I just have the job I want already. Early adulthood life suuuuucks when you’re not rich or have a simple career path.

Arts life is hard.

Why

Can’t I just have the job I want already. Early adulthood life suuuuucks when you’re not rich or have a simple career path.

Arts life is hard.

I went to my first day

Of therapy today and you guys…

My therapist is AMAZING!

She confirmed everything I thought about my anxiety but seriously told me I am going to be okay and that I am actually really healthy and have such a great understanding of myself!

Already starting to up my self-care in a real way by adding some vitamins to my daily routines, and keeping track of side symptoms and when my anxiety is at max.

Actually looking forward to something which is big for me currently.

Still stuck

Personal blab time:

I’m still stuck.

It feels as if the world around me is moving and I’m in a void lacking gravity.

I’m progressing. I keep having new ideas. I keep breathing.

But I still don’t move forward into the place I want to be.

Also

I am failing at the artists way.

I don’t like the morning pages.

I want to type them on my typewriter and I think I’ll feel more excited to do them.

But I need more typewriter ribbon…

I never fully decided to start either I was just “easing into it”.

It’s all a mental process.

Bleh.

Had a revelation

On how to get to shoot the images I want and get paid for it.

I’m starting some “artist sessions” where I take some pro headshots, and artsy candid images and portraits of artists in their elements.

I had already set up some personal shoots this week and started shooting with this intention and I AM FINALLY CREATING THE WORK I WANT TO CREATE!

I really hope this works out.

Samples to come.